“I’m brushing off my doubts, but they ain’t going away”

2010 Memory: My Internship

Not exactly something that started in 2010, but it ended early this year, so. My time spent there cultivated my thirst for learning, and encouraged a taste of the corporate world. I’m not sure why, either; maybe cos I grew up with a man who spent more time in his office in my early years, rather than at home. A father who made the corporate world pique interest in me, and made me curious to know how I could excel in it as much as he had.

An internship is as dull and basic as the next internship, but being treated like a proper adult, instead of just a mere intern being made to fetch coffee every morning (I was really surprised at this one)… It felt nice, for a change. Being the only one chosen for that place in the company, absorbing a culture that is as diverse as I had wished for it to be, striking up conversations with people of status much, much higher than mine; it made me realize how someone could thrive in this kind of environment, long-term. Something stable. Maybe if I stayed in it, I could be like my father, somehow. The position & field I was given sure weren’t what I desired, but my seven months there opened up my eyes to a world that was so feared by some, yet most got suck into it anyway. It was confusing – I still had my foolish dreams of travelling the world and soaking experience & cultures on my own, but the stability of being a corporate slave, albeit the negativity of that term, was still seductive, somehow.

During my internship, I also met a lady who would no sooner be on the list of my inspirations. Coming from a humble background across the Causeway, she went on up to working for the UN (something I still dream so much of doing), then decided midway to become a criminal lawyer with high-profile cases, and after that bit put her personal life in jeopardy, she settled down in the industry I thought I was once aiming for. And she’s making a damn good life out of it, despite all the sacrifices on her part. She was a Director, but did not treat me, an intern, any differently from her colleagues. All those conversations we had – each of us on opposite ends of her office desk – I don’t think she knows just how much I appreciated all the advice she’s given me, and all the trust she put in me, telling me bits and pieces of her private life.

People like her seem like miracle cases – stuff you only hear of, but never actually personally experience. But the one piece of advice she gave me which still rings in my ears and makes me have hope – “you are never too old to decide to stop doing what you’re doing, and move on to a whole different field, even if out of your comfort zone. Never, ever think you can’t do something. You just have to try.

Thank you, Ms Scully. It’s been an honour having worked for you.

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