I never really got around to talking much about this, so here goes –
Recently, a friend of mine flew 3,918 miles to a city Down Under. Usually, I do pretty okay with separation. Other than the anxiety bit, I get over it pretty quick. But this time, it was different. I found myself becoming a tear-tap at the airport; literally flushing a stream of uncontrollable tears.
I don’t really know.
Maybe it’s ‘cos it never hit me how her presence was always made felt by the simplest ways, most notably the random greeting texts on a daily basis. Or her random calls. Or her words of advice when I really need some rationale injected into me (my decision to accept my internship placement was 80% based on her reason). Stuff like that; stuff one might take for granted, more often than necessary.
I can’t remember the last time I’d made a friend whom I felt didn’t emanate the least bit of a judgmental vibe. That girl did not have one single bone of insincerity, nor have I ever felt she was shallow at any point. I guess in most ways, we’re at extreme ends of the spectrum – the girl who is so conscious of the percetions of others, and the girl who never really gave two flying squirrels about what one may think or say about her. If memory serves me right, I’d actually asked her “What if people thought this, that, etc” and her blunt response was “So?” before she changed the topic completely & simultaneously took my mind off things that shouldn’t have bothered me in the first place.
I admit – I’d initially thought that it’d take some understanding and adjustment before really getting down to know her as a person inside out. But now, on hindsight, I have no clue how I ever came to that conclusion. I’m not sure how we got from me knowing her as the other school mate who plays a guitar and loves John Mayer, to me knowing her as that friend who plays a guitar and loves John Mayer… Nah, I kid. Almost four years of friendship have made me realized how similar we both were on the inside; I swear, I can hold a substantial conversation (without losing my attention) with only a handful of people, and she’s one of them. And honestly, if I had to choose 5 people in the world whom I trust most, she’d be one of them too.
She had no qualms of opening up her home to me when mine became a space enclosed by four cold, concrete walls. When personal and domestic issues were taking a toll on me, she gave a listening ear with no judgments whatsoever. She knew when not to talk about things that were a wee bit too touchy, yet when the time calls for it, she’ll say or do something to pull me back into the right directions.
Did I mention she’s a near-perfect GPA score student? This is the girl who’s been on the Dean’s List continuously, scoring grades almost effortlessly, with her infamous last minute mugging two weeks before exams (or was it just a week?)
Now usually, people like her are those you’d love to hate ‘cos they intimidate you too much. With their good lives, good family, good grades.. all that shizznat. But never once, did I feel intimidated by her. Au contraire, I pushed myself harder at things, because she inspired me to. In a sense, I put her on a slight pedestal; someone to model after, someone who is real enough and at the same time, achieving and doing things that are more than ordinary. At the end of it though, I realized she was just as human as the next person – everyone has their share of problems, and she was no exception. She could’ve jolly well just waited for her life to be put in front of her on a silver platter; for other people to pave her future out for her, but she chose to make her own decisions and stand by them, to get where she is right now.
Sure, she has some annoying traits. Like her impatience, or her twisted impressions that I am too weird. Even her lack of sense of humor. Or her laziness at some things. Her innate ability to really tick me off sometimes. And her incomprehensible affection for Battlestar Galactica.
But then if I had a gig I was dying to go for, I’d turn to her for company. If I’m in need of someone to have coffee with, one of the first few I’d call would be her. If I got hooked on to a show which most of the time, she’d happen to be hooked on to as well (unless it’s Jersey Shore), at least I know I’m not that weird of a TV whore.
And those are just stuff off the surface. The list goes on far beyond that.
On the outside, we’re two very different people. But when it comes to substance, I find traits of myself in her which I never thought I’d see materialize in the form of another being.
The simple things you take for granted to always be there, to always fall back on, that you’d always have.. until it’s no longer a commodity, but a luxury.
From her Threadless tee shirts, jeans and Birkenstocks – that’s how I’ve engraved her in my mind to be.
See you in a year, bitch (you know I say that with affection).