The week started out clean for me, with no proper schedules whatsoever. It started out as a week of work, basically, in my head. But slowly, plans kept popping up & making themselves happen that at the end of almost each and every day, I find myself a wee bit stretched out and craving sleep, thus oversleeping the next morning (which isn’t in any way good if I’m to report at work by 9am).
But it was a good week, regardless. A good week filled with good people, good conversations, and good times 🙂
Funny though, despite all the spontaneous events and excitement, I find etched in my mind only the negative split second moments; comments that were disguised as hurried compliments or jokes, but still negative to me nonetheless.
People ask me why I don’t like rekindling lost friendships now. So in response, I ask them to question the natural human instinct to make superficial judgements and to speak without thinking how their words would affect others.
I admit I’ve definitely more mass and am thicker now (I’d be blind as a bat and in intense denial if I said I wasn’t), but that doesn’t mean words don’t pierce right through my skin just as easily as they did before.
It doesn’t make me any more secure or any less breakable on the inside.
I’m only saying this because I’m exhausted mentally and physically, partly from these thoughts weighing on my mind and largely due to my lack of continuous sleep. Or maybe it’s the way round. I’m just praying not to fall sick; that’s the last thing I can afford right now and I mean that in the most literal sense possible.
Cheers to sleeping early on a Friday night,