Don’t give up on Me.

I’ve 4 more days till I board the plane to jet half way across the world, and I still haven’t met the people I want to meet.

Not have to meet, but want to meet. I don’t think I say it quite often but there are just some irreplaceable people in my life whom I’m not ready to let go of just yet, even if it’s so for them.

May it be due to clashes in schedules, or maybe my reluctance.

I am afraid of change.

At least if the wait is longer, change can be blamed on time and not the person.

People I’ve come across on a whim, people I’ve hated at first sight, people I was obliged to be friends with at first introductions. The common denominator amongst all three categories would be making a huge difference in my life.

I don’t think I would be the same person I am today, if it wasn’t for how they have affected me. How they’ve made me, so to speak.

I’ve made fake friends, platonic friends and real friends. Yes, I do have fake friends and I’m sure you do too. But they’re not the kind of people you would want to literally remember ten years down the road. For the good times maybe, but if I happen to bump into them while crossing the road when I’m hitting 30, I don’t think it would go any further than a “Hello, how are you” conversation.

The real friends are the people whom you can still call when you need to hear a voice reassuring you of your existence, and theirs. Those friends whom you’ve actually talked about catching up in 10 years, and not just for Ladies Night the next week.

They may not feel the same way about me, but as long as I know how big a piece they are to completing my puzzle, I’m completely fine with that.

I think I am just coming off too subtle, for another party to actually realise that not only do I care for them, but I want them to remain in my life.

I admit that I am a very non-emotive person, so to speak.

I think this is the only way I can make my apology. I dislike confrontations, and I prevent them in every way I can.

But if you do feel like you have known me for a while now, and have made an impact on my life like no other can, I most probably mean you.

But no, this is not meant for more than 10 people.

I don’t know if this is coming from the part of my brain that is connected to my liver, or because I’ve just lived through my last Tuesday night of 2008 in Singapore.

If I don’t get to see you before I leave, I just wish you the best of the remaining 2008, and cheers to a fulfilling 2009.

I hope what ever traditions you have with me, we’d be able to postpone them to the later part of next year. I may come off scatter-brained, but I do keep my loved ones close to heart.

You’ll be hearing from me soon.

Love till death,
Nrl

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