“If my life is mine, what shouldn’t I do?”
January 25, 2012
The first month of 2012 is nearly over, but I just thought I’d capture the (very few) highlights of my 2011 anyway -
Preteen dream come true: Blue LIVE @ Ion 2011
David Hurwitz, Zee Avi, JP Maramba & Rafael Pereira
Flickr set: Zee Avi LIVE @ TAB 2011
Recipe for disaster
January 24, 2012
Last night was a mistake. The entire conversation & what transpired; starting the conversation was a step to a downward spiral into hell. Someone should really take my phone away from me when I drink – $20 for two & a half hours of open bar could very well be the death of me.
So much for wanting to close that chapter.
Oy vey.
The art of survival
January 21, 2012
There are places I can’t go to, films & shows I can’t re-watch, songs I can’t listen to, things I can’t do, old habits I can’t slip back into, strangers who look or sound like you whom I can’t talk to, food I can’t eat, emotions I can’t let myself feel, scents I turn away from, memories I suppress and thoughts I can’t think, because they remind me too much of the past –
And the pain that comes along with going through all that, just isn’t worth it.
Balance
January 19, 2012
“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You’d think the realists would find the realists and dreamers would find the dreamers, but more often than not, the opposite is true.
You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists… Well, without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.”
- Punkin Chunkin, Modern Family
I need to find my realist.
“I was the one with the world at my feet”
January 14, 2012
I feel the dynamics in my relationships with people have shifted greatly without me noticing the gradual movement, until one day I find myself on a completely different island from them, with no connecting bridge whatsoever. Over the recent years I’ve come to terms with cutting people out of my life (and having me cut off from theirs) but I never expected to find myself in a situation where even the trusted handful would dwindle in numbers. I could take the sole blame for being completely out of sync with people these days – what with having a full-time job and progressing into a workaholic – but a small part of me can’t help thinking that maybe -
The fact that the frequency of all of our lives aren’t on the same wavelength anymore, it would have to take two hands to clap to make happen, no?
Or is this what you call a “natural progression”, when something has run its course…?
It’s 11 in the morning and I need a breather.
“In your darkest hour, I’d lead you through the fire”
December 4, 2011
“And some days were good, and some days were bad, and then there was a whole lotta other days in between that really weren’t anything at all.
Just existence. Just getting the job done.”
– Lisa Gardner, Hide
What have we become?
November 8, 2011
I was reading what I thought was a beautifully written article on CNN, about how the Hajj pilgrimage reawakens Islamic values for young Muslims (though I do believe that it applies to all). It explained the purpose of Hajj, the mechanics of the pilgrimage, and the unity that this event brings amongst Muslims worldwide. The fact that it is considered to be one of the largest pilgrimages in the world, bringing together more than 3 million Muslims worldwide to a sacred place once a year for a holy ritual, speaks volumes of how important religion is to our lives. The Hajj is just one example; let’s not forget other mass-scale pilgrimages that happen yearly across the world, with the Kumbh Mela in Haridwar being the first to come to mind.
Go on, read the article.
And then scroll down through the comments – I won’t be surprised if you’re left feeling as disgusted as I was, at some people’s blatant ignorance, lack of values and hatred.
“Even If I Don’t”
October 12, 2011
*
I miss you most in the morning
Most every morning
I wake up thinking
I could call;
I could come visit;
I could come running;
We could relive it
But when I think of all that we’ve been through,
Going back to you
Seems such a foolish thing to do
I hope you know -
That even if I don’t,
I wanted to
All those words you said at the ending
Were pretty revealing
And I can’t forget them
All those ways we missed at connecting,
Despite all our trying,
It always came back to -
What I couldn’t give you
So when I think of starting up again,
Or trying to be friends,
It seems impossible to do
That even if we can’t,
I wanted to
Who knows why
Two people perfectly aligned
Should ever have to find themselves apart
I’ll never understand my heart
I miss you -
Most in the morning,
Most every morning,
I wake up crying.
*
And that, is that.
♥
